Perspective

What adventures lie on the other side of the crossing?  I am willing to be a little more adventurous than normal.  Maybe.  Okay, so I am not the one jumping up and down and shouting that I want to be the first one on the zip line.  I barely travel out of town.

So why the sudden search for perspective?  Like accountability, perception and the way we view certain things - everything - has been a common theme around me lately.

I never really paid any attention to perception or that perhaps there were different ways to look at things - different perspectives.  I lived by the "what you see is what you get" mentality.  In fact, there have been times in both my personal and my professional past where I have been shown, most emphatically, that "what you see is what you get" vision of life's interactions were grossly misplaced.  As life continues, there have been more and more times when I have realized that it was true.  What you see is NOT always what you get.

A different perspective, or point of view, provides many lessons.  It could be that my view on a social matter was too narrow, and a friend or colleague provided me their perspective on the issue.  Suddenly, I see both sides of the perspective bridge at the same time.  This does not mean that my views have changed on the issue, necessarily.  It simply means that my eyes have been opened to another point of view.  I am now better equipped to discuss my perspective having seen the other side.  The other point of view gave me knowledge, understanding and empathy.

There is also the perspective that I didn't want to see.  Seeing things from another's perspective can serve as hard lessons.  There have been times when I thought I was helping someone in the workplace; only to find out what I viewed as teaching and coaching was their point of view of me treating them poorly and with disrespect.  I thought I had good teaching and leadership skills.  Turns out, I was blind to the other point of view.  Granted I knew the material and the skills better and genuinely wanted to help them succeed, it was my approach that slowed me down and hindered their learning.  Their perspective of me was not good.  It took a lot of coaching sessions with my supervisor and a lot of reading to grow out of the little singular perspective bubble I had put myself in.

I discovered the wealth of information in books, such as How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie and Personality Plus, by Florence Littauer, I was able to practice the skills taught by these revolutionaries.  Amazing things started happening!  My own perspective bubble got bigger and bigger.  Soon, I was meeting people with a newly opened mind.  Conversations went in directions I never knew possible.  I was learning and discovering new things about others, the world and myself.  And to this day, I am still looking to see the other perspective.

After all, a tree is still a tree whether you are looking up at it from the ground or seeing the tops of it from the sky.  

Accountability

Accountability.  Accountability has been a common theme is many areas I have ventured the last couple of weeks - in social media, business meetings, training my clients, networking events.  It got me thinking.  What are my views on accountability?  What are your views on accountability?

The reflection on my own accountability took me several different directions.  The first is accountability to your peers.  I work on a variety of projects, from office administration to event management.  This project variety lends to working with a variety of personality types and management styles.  Needless to say, I work hard to work well with everyone to achieve the best results for all involved parties.  The countless projects I work on would never get completed if I did not have accountability to the other parties involved.

Accountability in business is what I am talking about.  You are embarking on a project, and generally speaking, the project has a manager, to which whom you are accountable for completing the project in a timely and thorough manner.  If the project falls short, you take the fall.  You are accountable for your actions and missteps throughout the life of the project.  If you perform well, you will be given more projects to prove your worth over and over again.  You may even see an increase in responsibility, perhaps now supervising others in the workplace.  These people will now be accountable to you.  You now have many people you are accountable to - your boss or supervisor and the people you are supervising.

As a supervisor, it is important that you hold yourself accountable to your people.  The people you supervise are counting on you to provide appropriate feedback and to be reasonably fair.  It is your job to follow up with project assignments.  After all, it is you that is ultimately responsible (and accountable) to your supervisor for incomplete projects.

At home, you are accountable to your family.  There is a rule - spoken or unspoken - that there should be communication with your family, especially your partner.  It is both of your responsibility to be accountable to the other for communicating with the other.  When you choose to not communicate with your partner, assumptions are made, fingers get pointed, and love disappears.  I am not a family counselor by any means; but I do know what works in my household.  Being open in communication and holding both myself and my partner accountable to promises we make to each other makes our relationship much easier and a lot more fun.

Amidst all the work and home accountability, it is important that you remain accountable to the debts you promised to pay.  Ever get the nagging feeling that you have forgot to do something you promised to do?  Perhaps it's pay back the money you borrowed from a friend.  Maybe you are late on your phone bill.  The point is that you made a promise and became accountable for the debt.  Pay it.  Pay it on time.  That nagging feeling turns into a feeling of gratitude quickly once you pay the debt.

Do you like to volunteer in the community?  Are you a part of a board of directors?  Talk about accountability.  You are now accountable to many other people doing the exact same thing you are doing - volunteering and contributing to the community or cause for the greater good.  It feels good to be a part of the bigger picture.  However, with the increase of exposure comes an increase in accountability.  If you forget or choose not to follow through with an assignment, more people than just your boss see the misstep.  The entire board or service community sees.

I am not trying to paint a picture of doom and gloom; I just thinks it's important to see that accountability goes a long way.  Accountability leads to organizational success.  Organizational success leads to overall success.

Most importantly, be accountable to yourself.  You cannot be accountable to anyone if you are not true to yourself.  If you make a promise to yourself, keep it.  It is easier to keep promises to others when you can keep promises to yourself.  First step, go and do it.  Stop reading this and get going.

(Thanks for reading.)

Ignite the Fight: More than Just a 5K Run

This weekend the 2^nd Annual Ignite the Fight 5K raised money for the Firefighter Cancer Support Network.  The run was conceived by Kim Fleming and with the 'support of her employer, ServiceMaster Select, has had two years of success.  The numbers aren’t in yet for this year, but last year, the run raised enough money to donate $18,135 to the Firefighter Cancer Support Network.  Kim said they hope to donate over $20,000 this year. 

In 2010, at the age of 28, Kim’s husband, Kevin, was diagnosed with testicular cancer.  As a firefighter for 12 years, Kevin was exposed to many toxins and carcinogens that are known to cause cancer.  Even knowing this, the diagnosis was a complete shock given how young he was when he received the diagnosis.  Cancer is the second-leading cause of death in firefighters. 

During his treatment, Kevin received a call from the president of the Firefighter Cancer Support Network.  To this day, Kim and Kevin are not sure how the president of the organization got Kevin’s name.  The president welcomed Kevin to “the club” and connected him with a mentor.  This is not the kind of “club” Kevin was looking to join.  However, his mentor was a firefighter who had been diagnosed with the same type of cancer and was there to guide him through the barrage of paperwork and questions they both had.   The Firefighter Cancer Support Network also provided Kevin with a Toolbox to help stay organized through all the doctor’s visits and paperwork.  Most of all, his mentor and the Network helped Kevin stay positive.

It was just after Kevin finished radiation that he decided to run the Yellow Day 5K, a race to raise awareness and money for the Lance Armstrong foundation, Livestrong.  Although he was weak and not feeling 100 percent, having just completed radiation therapy, Kevin completed the run.  Today, he is two years in remission. 

Ignite the Fight 5K was created to continue the support that the Firefighter Cancer Support Network gave to Kevin and hopefully help others.  It seems that everyone knows a firefighter; therefore, at some point, this disease will eventually affect everyone.  People love firefighters – runners, non-runners and walkers.  That’s why people come out to this race.  It’s about supporting the firefighters that we love.  Kim says that the goal of this run is to educate firefighters and the general population about cancer and to promote the Firefighter Cancer Support Network.

As I write this, Kim and Kevin Fleming are celebrating an important day – their three-year wedding anniversary and the anniversary of Kevin’s remission, which coincidently is also the same day of Lance Armstrong’s remission anniversary.  Remember this, it’s not about just starting the race, but finishing the race.  Sometimes, we all need a little support from our network.  

Get Me Coffee Now

True Story.  Well, almost.  

{Some names and likenesses have been changed to protect the innocent and the crazy.}

This morning I got to my networking group and things were not quite as they usually were set.  That's okay; we have new servers.  The usual server was on vacation.  At the time, all I really needed was a cup of coffee to jump start the morning.  There was no coffee on the table yet.  Bummer!  So, I half-jokingly said to the new server, "We're gonna need lots of coffee here!"  That got a good laugh from the group.  She replied, "You bet!"

Great!  In about five minutes, I would be sipping my coffee, ordering breakfast and networking.  Good start to the morning.

Wrong!

As I mentioned before, things were not set as usual.  Normally, the coffee and mugs and ice water are already set out for the group by the time the first person gets there around 7:00 am.  I got there just before 7:15 am and still nothing had been set out.  After I joked about the coffee, it was only moments before a couple of carafes appeared on the table.  And I hadn't sat down yet!  Perfect!

Then, it happened.  I sat down and watched the new server bring out what looked to be 20 water glasses and a pitcher of tepid water.  This was straight from the tap, nothing special water.   Okay....  We'll make it through.  It's only water.  Plus, I had my breakfast coupon this morning; so, no full price meal for me today.  Awesome!

Wrong, again!

I decided to get up and grab myself a cup of the tepid water because I do like to have water with my meal usually.  It's good to rinse the coffee and salt from breakfast down.  I had been sitting for only a few minutes with the carafe of coffee placed right in front of me, but alas, I had no mug.  When I got up to get my water, I saw the servers just outside the door of the meeting room heading the other direction. I quickly caught one of their attention and said, "Excuse me.  We could use some coffee mugs when you get a chance."

Her response through me for a loop.  "We'll be right there," she said shortly and snidely.

Okay...

I sat down and vented.  My neighbor said that I needed to calm down.  Calm down!  How could I calm down!  I just want my {insert expletive(s)} coffee and I need a mug to drink it out of.  What am I supposed to drink the coffee straight from the carafe?  I was ready to; that's how much I wanted coffee.

Anyway, so the meeting went on and I participated as an active member of the group.  By this point, I had decided not to eat breakfast here, just drink about three cups of coffee since I got my mug.  Oh, yeah.  I did finally get my mug.

By the end of the meeting, I said something that my neighbor took offense to.  It was one of those moments when you hear the words coming out, you know you should stop, and you can't stop.  It becomes like an out-of-body experience.  Man, did I feel terrible!  What was happening?  I wanted to find the closest rock I could find and crawl under it.  No amount of apologies or retractions could help me save face.  I just felt so bad.

About an hour after the meeting, my neighbor and I talked over the phone and cleared up what can be described as a moment that pretty much everyone has had at one time in their lives.  Work, life, and everything in between added up to something as trivial as a cup of coffee.

So, here is the conclusion I came to after an incredibly daunting morning.  These mornings are usually fun and productive.  This morning was decidedly not!  It happens.  We all have these moments when our brain has left and words expose the evil inside.  I am not saying we are evil.  What I am saying here is that without our connection to our soul, our brain thinks weird things.  These are the times when we are disconnected.  We make our greatest mistakes in this vulnerable stage.  The key I recognized today is knowing that it's not about the coffee.  I also learned that sometimes just keeping quiet and sitting there in observation is the best path.  I can't take back what I said.  I can't take back the profanity in the moment.  I can't replace the feelings I had this morning.  I can learn from what happened and recognize the warning signs when they start to rear their ugly evilness again.

Remember to connect to your inner soul.  Because, let's face it!  There really isn't enough coffee!

Feeling stressed...

Ouch!!!

My tooth has been hurting for nearly five days now.  I never have tooth pain.  In fact, I just had a recent dental cleaning and check-up and received a glowing report.  What's the deal?!?  On day four, I finally decided to call the dentist to check the tooth.

A strange thing happened after I scheduled the exam - the tooth started to feel better.  What?

I am no doctor (or dentist) but I do like to self-diagnose problems I may be experiencing. I am a believer that once I know what the problem is, I can start working to find a solution to the problem.  So, I do some research to figure out what is at the root of the problem.  In this case, the problem was so apparent that if it were a 17 and a half foot Burmese python, it would have swallowed me whole.

My ACE personal trainer exam is coming up on Thursday.  I have been studying for nine months for this test.  I know the material for the most part, but anything can happen with 150 questions in a three hour period.  The test is proctored.  This means I can take nothing in to the exam - I don't get my own pencil or paper, tissues to wipe the sweat off my brow, nothing. The flip side of this is that I will know as soon as I am done how I scored. I really want to pass.  The last thing I want to do is re-take the exam and go through this again.

Well, at this point, I am feeling stressed and I know that it is affecting my body.  The toothache is telling me so.  There are ways to manage this stress.  A few things that I have done to alleviate the stress are scheduling my study time with no exceptions.  If it's in the calendar, I need to stick to it, treat the study time like it's client time.  Second, schedule down time.  It's good to take breaks, too.  There is such a thing as too much studying, in my opinion.  I like to take a half hour here and there to unwind by watching my favorite tv show or having dinner with my fiance.  Then, there's always the fitness aspect to de-stressing.  Go run 16 miles!  That is a sure fire way to clear your head.  And if you can't run 16 miles, try going for a walk.  Getting out in nature is a great way to find your center and reset your stress meter.

That's all for now - until after the exam.   

Blah Blah Blah BLOG

We've all had them.  Those moments - or days - when we just don't want to do something, anything.  We don't want to get out of bed.  We don't want to go to the gym.  We don't want to work on that project.

Well, the same thing happened with this blog.  Although, it's not that I didn't want to do it.  It was just that I couldn't find the energy to type the words I had already formatted in my head.  Therein, lies the problem.  It was in my head.  All sorts of words; formatted in sentences and ideas, ready to be put down in complete thoughts.  Why couldn't I find the time to sit down and write?!

This, of course, is a moot question because I have all the time I need to sit down and write.  There were plenty of times when I had my computer on.  Although I was working on other things.  Never did I make it to the site where I needed to post the blog.  In fact, it was the end of the week when I realized that I hadn't posted yet.  Now, it's been two weeks since my last post.  Time flies when you don't write a to-do list.

So, at the end of this particular week, I was feeling tired and just worn down.  It was a Friday, and I was scheduled to go for a run with a friend.  This is part of her training; so, I naturally felt obligated to go meet her.  I couldn't text or call her and back out of it because I am her trainer.  All I really wanted to do was sleep in a half an hour more, then go get my coffee - a big coffee with lots of whip cream.  (Not exactly healthy, but so good!)

When I got to her house, she wasn't quite ready to go yet.  So, I waited, played with her dogs a bit, and then, we were off.  It was an easy run, and once we were into it, we both felt great.  We both were glad that we committed to each other and completed what we set out to do.

The conclusion is this: when we know something is good for us and we have good intentions of completing the job, even though we really don't want to do it, go do it.  You will feel so much better once the task is complete.  Even better - like with getting this blog completed - write down the task on a to-do list.  It's amazing how much you can get accomplished and how amazing you feel afterwards.  Now, get out of the blah and get going.

Just Go For It

Just go for it!  Cliche?  Perhaps.  But it's true. 

I want to get to the point in my professional career where I can look back and say, "Remember when we were at that tiny office sitting on those couches creating this company or idea?"  When you're in those moments, it is sometimes hard to see the distant future when you will be reminiscing.  I know that those moments are waiting for me.  I want to take the time to reflect and enjoy the process that is giving birth to something so much greater than what I am today.

By putting the positive forces in motion for me now wherever I go and in whatever I do, all I need to do is stay present in the moment - NOW.  I already know that the big future awaits me.  It has already been laid out for me.  I need to go for it now and remember to be breathe. 

Once you have seen yourself at the completion of a project as happy and successful, you too will be able to go for it, without the fear of failure or the fear of the success.  The fear of success can be just as debilitating as the fear of failure.  What do I do if I actually get what I think I want?  Breathe it in now and know that you are meant to achieve success and happiness.  Now move forward and go do it.  Thinking about it is not moving you any faster toward your goal.  Now is the time to put the positive forces to work for you.  Just ask and believe in yourself. 

Now go do it!  I believe in you.